For years, I believed my hair was simply difficult.
Some days it looked wavy. Other days it puffed up into a frizzy mess. I'd spend ages trying different products, blow-drying it straight, or convincing myself that I just wasn't one of those women who naturally had beautiful curls. Looking back, I realise I wasn't alone. So many women grow up believing their hair is "just fluffy," "too frizzy," or "completely unmanageable," when the truth is often much simpler: they've never been taught how to care for their natural texture.
Ironically, it took a girls' holiday in Portugal to make me realise that.
The conversation I'll never forget
In June 2017, I travelled to Portugal for a friend's hen weekend. Like most girls' trips, getting ready for dinner was almost an event in itself. Hair dryers were humming, straighteners were being passed around the room, and every available surface was covered in makeup bags, brushes, and hair products.
As we chatted, the conversation naturally drifted towards hair.
A few of the women looked at mine and said things that instantly sounded familiar.
"My hair is just fluffy."
"Mine always goes frizzy."
"I wish my curls looked like yours."
I remember laughing because, without the right routine, my hair can look exactly the same.
There was never anything particularly special about my curls. Everything I'd learned had come through years of trial and error, plenty of disappointing products, and a lot of frustration. So, while we were all getting ready, I shared a few simple techniques that had helped me understand my own hair a little better. Nothing complicated. Nothing expensive. Just small changes that made a noticeable difference.
Watching their reactions was something I'll never forget.
It wasn't their hair that needed fixing
The women in that room didn't suddenly grow new curls overnight. Their hair hadn't magically transformed in a matter of minutes.
What changed was their understanding.
For the first time, they could see that their hair wasn't hopeless or "bad." They simply hadn't been shown how to work with it. That moment stayed with me long after the holiday ended because it made me realise how many women had been told what was wrong with their hair but had never been taught what was right about it.
The beauty industry spends billions encouraging us to change our appearance. Women with curls are often told to smooth them, tame them, straighten them, or control them. Very few of us are taught to understand them instead.
That simple conversation in Portugal planted a seed that I couldn't ignore.
From one holiday conversation to thousands of women
When I came home, I kept thinking about those women and the confidence I'd seen in such a short space of time. If a simple conversation could make that much of a difference, how many other women were feeling exactly the same way?
That question eventually led me to create an eBook in 2018, where I wrote down everything I'd learned about caring for curls and waves. I honestly expected a small group of people to download it and hopefully find it useful.
Instead, thousands of women did.
The emails that followed were incredibly emotional to read. Women shared stories about wearing their natural curls for the first time in years, throwing away products that had never worked for them, and finally enjoying wash day instead of dreading it. Some told me they'd spent decades believing they simply had "bad hair."
Those messages confirmed what I'd first realised in Portugal.
The problem had never been their curls.
The problem was a lack of education.
Why curly hair often feels impossible
Curly hair isn't difficult because it's curly.
It feels difficult because most of us were never taught how to care for it.
Many of us grew up brushing dry curls, using products designed for straight hair, washing too often, or relying on heat tools to make our hair look more "acceptable." Then, when our hair became dry, frizzy, or unpredictable, we blamed ourselves instead of questioning the advice we'd been following.
Learning to care for curly hair isn't about chasing perfection. It's about understanding what your own hair needs. Every head of curls is different, which is why there isn't a single routine that works for everyone. Once you understand your own curl pattern, porosity, and styling techniques, everything starts to feel much easier.
That's when confidence begins to replace frustration.
More than 5,400 curl transformations later
Today, Curly Girl Method Club has celebrated more than 5,400 curl transformations, and every one of them tells a different story. Some members discover waves they never realised they had, while others finally learn how to define curls they've spent years trying to straighten.
What they all have in common isn't a particular curl type or hairstyle.
It's the confidence that comes from understanding their own hair.
I've watched women stop hiding under hats, stop apologising for frizz, and stop believing they need to look like someone else to have beautiful hair. Those moments mean far more to me than perfectly defined ringlets ever could.
If you've ever called your hair "just frizzy"
If you've ever stood in front of the mirror wondering why your hair refuses to behave, I hope you'll remember this.
Your hair isn't trying to work against you.
It may simply be waiting for you to understand it.
That conversation in Portugal changed the direction of my life because it showed me something I hadn't fully realised before: confidence doesn't come from changing your natural hair. It comes from learning to work with it.
Everything we've created at Curly Girl Method Club, from the 11-Minute First Wash to our in-depth tutorials and member community, has been built around that single idea.
One conversation changed my life.
Maybe it's the beginning of changing yours too.
